One of my dirty secrets

Today has been exactly as planned. The plan was "nothing" and that's what happened so far
I didn't even bother to get dressed and comb my hair - I have very long hair and it really looks like a mess right now - and together with the oversized Tshirt I slept in... well.. lets just say that if someone knocks on my door I'll pretend no one is home.
Todays secret thoughts: Sometimes I want to meet with a strangers who pays me to have sex with him. We will go to a hotel room and I'll have to do all he asks me to because he "bought" me.
He wouldnt ask for my name or have any interest in my person, I would only be someone he wants to fuck.
The whole situation would be pretty humiliating for me - I would have to accept all he wanted.
That's one of my "dark secrets" - I always get horny when I think of it. I cant tell anyone except here. If I told this to Marie or other of my friends they would probably tell me I'm sick - maybe I am, hehehe
And the even darker secret is that I often want to live it out, I dont want it to be just a fantasy... scary, huh? But I'm not sure if I dare to do it. Could be dangerous. But still I find it tempting!